Opening

In the recent past, I've felt a level of connectedness, clarity, positivity.  But that doesn't mean that it isn't without sorrow.  Truth, and the ability to look at what is without the attachment/investment of hopes, ego doesn't come easy for humans.  But it takes truth to realize what is in this world, and to help us realize our ourselves and our strength.  Sometimes, that hurts.

A conversation with a friend came earlier today.  Perhaps instigating what I believe: all the world and its issues, are just symptoms of how we either choose, or choose not to manifest our own power within us. We spin our energy helplessly in what have 'learned' - what we can not or do not know how to change.  It is our own intuition telling us "move...", but our egos, our adherence to society's norms that sink us further in the mud, keeping us in line, in our place. 

Later in the day, a Friend posted a link to a "Message of Hope", the above video.  It brought light to a personal truth that came forward today.   I do not think anyone's intuition will deny that there is a movement or opportunity for peace on a way deeper level than skeptics will give credit to.  There is an uplifting from the inside out, where you are breathless, neither excited, nor nervous - it just hits the centre of you like a very calm bulls eye.  It feels right, not because it fits what has been ingrained in you, but because it is you, the best of who you are.

October 30th, 2011, I wrote "Thought".  "Message of Hope" is the answer - a simple one.  One that takes nothing, but offers everyone from the one person to the whole...  h o p e.

I don't want it all.  I just want my loves and to be the part of the whole I am meant to be.  Sometimes it hurts to realize that when it shakes the foundation we ourselves have built.  "Sorrow", "hurt"... until we realize, we are part of the whole and meant just to be true to ourselves.

That potential movement in the world and ourselves is just a matter of connecting the dots.  I'm a dot.  Are you?...

Day 15 - Raw & Alive: The Beginning

Breakfast:

• tea
• apple
• Homemade Raisin Granola bar
• Coffee! (<---this is where it started going sideways...)

Snack:

• almonds

Lunch:

• uhhhh... remember back to Day 6.5, where hubby called me a bad cleanser ("I'm not cleansing!!!")...  This being Day 15...  BEEF DIP!!!  ...with a salad
• some calamari

Snack:

• 1/2 my sister-in-law's yummy homemade chocolate oat muffin
• tea

Dinner:

• Broccoli, tofu, onion & brown rice with tamari

Snack:

• glass of wine.  Is that a snack? HA!  Was tonight.  "welcome back wine...  Where is your friends 'Brie' & 'Date & Cherry Balsamic Spread' (which has been staring me in the face for 15 days in the fridge)?
• Pau D'Arco tea.  

oii...  I'm not going to sweat the small stuff, life is too short for that.  No, I don't feel bad about not making it to midnight tonight.  I feel like I learned what I wanted to learn days back: raw food and produce in general will be a way more substantial part of my life.

How do I feel?

• As I said, I've done 'cleanses'.  The Wild Rose Cleanse, Elderberry Cleanse.  Never noticed a difference aside from being agitated, grumpy, tired, and frankly not much of an end result.  But what I've learned and 'recalled' in the past 15 days, predominantly from the inside, out has been a huge regrouping for me.  I feel more energetic, less up and down, no tired spells.  More clarity, more positive drive, more openness.  As far as my digestive system goes, I can only describe it as efficient, happy, rejuvenated and in better balance.  It has been moderation (not all raw raw fruits and veggies), and it will continue to be moderation.  
• I will be continuing to educate myself so that raw food meals, and proper nutrition especially become a part of my new normal.  There are things that I know I am missing nutritionally in pursuing raw foods independently.  I need more information.  For me, to remove negative, outdated habits, beliefs or patterns, I need to substitute it with knowledge, research and proper resources.  That takes some time.
• man, I was a bit conflicted ordering that beef dip.  I guess I reached for the brass ring in terms of looking for a quick iron fix.  I didn't really CRAVE the sandwich, or think "we're going to end our programs today, oh, I've been waaaiiiting for a beef dip!" (on the contrary).  I knew I'd feel full and like I were carrying the beef like a rugby player with the 'ball', nestled in my tum.  It wasn't hugely appealing.  I suppose it was more going for what I knew my body could receive fast iron from.  Yup - I felt a big ol' glob of beef and gummy wheat with me aaallll day.  Not used to that, and frankly, not likin' it!  But not going to beat myself up for it at this point - I need iron.  This is a beginning, and educating myself to maximize my intake of iron through non-heme iron sources is on the horizon.  Changing patterns and educating oneself takes more than 14 days.
• The 'raw food experience' has added to my life greatly.  As with anything else in my life, (religion/spirituality, parenting, career), I like exposure to various theories, and believe that each one I gravitate towards has varying degrees of wisdom that will become a part of my new normal.  But balance and moderation, living life fully is what is right for me.  So as much as I am not going to throw my stove out and swear off french fries, the past couple of weeks have been profound enough for me to make a substantial second step.  I am very excited and thankful for it becoming a part of my life.
• This isn't just me.  Hubby has been eating the same as me and has no intention of letting go of our morning green juice, the amount of raw veggies we eat and striving to cook more at home.  Glad we did it together.
• Do I believe Raw is my path?  Yes, and No.  I will continue to be inspired by all of the new recipes, and add way more fresh vegetables/fruit to my way of life. 
• I need more iron than I can get with this way of life.  Iron is one of the most common nutritional deficiencies, and plays an incredibly important part in our overall health.  In children, iron deficiency can delay mental/motor development.  In adults, it can also cause fatigue, and impair mental focus.  
• There are exceptions in cooking foods.  Some foods are unlocked by cooking, releasing more nutrients when cooked. 
• Some juicing can be incredibly high in sugar.  It is also no substitute for veggies and fruit as it takes out the fibre we would otherwise ingest with it.  I would prefer vitamixing the foods to get the balance of fiber and nutrients.   Just as raw foodies say that fruits and veggies are natural to humans and processed foods are not, eating produce without the fiber is also not natural (healthier?  yes, but still not natural in their separation of fiber/juice).  Will I still juice?  Yes, but probably as often as I have foods that are highly processed.  

Overall, the process has been incredibly rewarding and has served as an enlightening experience as far as the amazing efficiency my digestive system has felt.  I have also felt way better mentally and emotionally - there are just some tweaks I need to instigate.

Happy eating y'all - not matter what your choices are!

Day 14 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• didn't have one - fasted for a blood test

Snack:

• almonds
• apple

Lunch:

• Greek salad
• Pita & Tzadziki
• peppermint tea
• Roasted yam soup

Dinner:

• Tofu, broccoli, Tofu shirataki noodle, onion, tamari sauce
• Brown rice

Snack:

• small bowl of dinner left overs (it was yummy!)
• banana cream milk shake (hungry today, I think due to fasting for blood test...)

Notes:

• It is snowing quite a bit for this area.  It's pretty.  
• Am taking Floradix liquid (hubby got it for me, took it some while pregnant if I recall)
• ok, back to office work! 
• 1 more daaaayyyyy!

Day 13 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• lemon water
• Juice - carrot, apple, kale, kiwi... (not sure what else - hubby made it and took off our the door)

Snack:

• Pear
• raw almonds

Lunch:

• tofu red sauce (from last night), with rice pasta

Snack:

• carrot sticks & zumus
• almonds

Dinner:

• Tofu teriyaki
• vegetable tempura

Snack:

• Chia Pudding
• Honeybush Superstar

Notes:

• Had a blood test yesterday (part of a general check up).  Everything is fantastic, right down the centre.  BUT! I am low on Iron.  I have had an occurrence of low iron in the past as well (about 15 years ago?), but knowing this, I need proper education, as I am obviously not hitting getting my iron allotment.  It was interesting to me because I've been training, running around outside in the snow, chasing after a three year old, unloading bails of hay and feel great!  Memory though, sometimes I wonder what is going on with my head.  Lets hope taking care of the iron levels helps the old noggin.   So, that has been a part of my evening - researching iron deficiency, what to do.  
• I will also be getting nutritional counseling in the near future too!  Non-heme (haem) iron is better absorbed by eating foods rich in Vitamin C (which are certain fruits and veggies), so I need to know which ones to pair with others to get max iron absorption.  Kale, broccoli paired with orange...? (good chart on the link below to look in to this question too)
• I calculated I had 22.7 mg of iron today (non-heme, not including anything from my morning green juice).  CDC says I require 18mg, but again, non-heme iron is less efficiently absorbed (a non-heme diet for a person of my stats should have approx 33mg of iron per day) which means I'm falling short (depending on how much iron was in my juice) AND, increased iron came today from introduction of tofu too.
• Before the fingers fly on vegetarian or raw food lifestyles, there are factors that meat-eaters have too that diminish the uptake of iron, including lack of fresh veggies and fruit (Vit C).  It ain't just the veg-heads in the 12-18% % of women in industrialized countries who are iron deficient.  Iron deficiency is the most prevalent nutritional deficiency in the world.
• Yep, cheated at dinner tonight.  so full.  oh, I had sake too.
• One thing that the past 13 days has taught me is a new definition of moderation.  Before all of this, I'd go from meal to meal, not really having a healthy veggie-packed snack in between.  I didn't eat as frequently, and didn't have nearly as many fresh foods involved even though I was throwing kale in wherever I could, and ate salads for about 1/3 of my meals.  My meals have and will become a lot more clean from what I used to eat - with a ton more fresh, raw produce involved.  Having a snack will delightfully mean having carrot sticks and humus, or a smoothie, or some chia pudding.  Not sure I will wrap my head around eating some meat sauce today, but as I mentioned earlier, I'm not planning on becoming a strict vegetarian, nor raw foodie.  I will have beef in moderation and when I do, it will be organic, free-range happy beef if I can (that probably means back to making my kick-ass pasta sauce).   I like raw foods going through my body.  It just feels good, like a bunch of tiny toothbrushes with all their fiber scrubbing out all the yucky stuff from the inside out.  My digestive system feels great!   Juicing 100% will never be for me, nor was it from the beginning, but I do really like our green juices first thing in the morning.  LOVE THEM.
• There is also an increase in resilience I feel.  I just feel less bogged down by negative stuff.  I have a cool playlist of positive energy boppin' along in my head.  From my happy veggies, I betcha! 

Ok, because Iron Deficiency/Anemia is quite common, I'm posting some info below (taken from the Centers For Disease Control & Prevention <--check it out - good source)

Who is most at risk?

• Young children and pregnant women are at higher risk of iron deficiency because of rapid growth and higher iron needs.
• Adolescent girls and women of childbearing age are at risk due to menstruation.
•  Among children, iron deficiency is seen most often between six months and three years of age due to rapid growth and inadequate intake of dietary iron. Infants and children at highest risk are the following groups:
  • Babies who were born early or small.
  • Babies given cow's milk before age 12 months.
  • Breastfed babies who after age 6 months are not being given plain, iron-fortified cereals or another good source of iron from other foods.
  • Formula-fed babies who do not get iron-fortified formulas.
  • Children aged 1–5 years who get more than 24 ounces of cow, goat, or soymilk per day. Excess milk intake can decrease your child's desire for food items with greater iron content, such as meat or iron fortified cereal.
  • Children who have special health needs, for example, children with chronic infections or restricted diets.

Signs and Symptoms of Iron Deficiency

Too little iron can impair body functions, but most physical signs and symptoms do not show up unless iron deficiency anemia occurs. Someone with early stages of iron deficiency may have no signs or symptoms. This is why it is important to screen for too little iron among high risk groups.

Signs of iron deficiency anemia include¹²

• Feeling tired and weak
• Decreased work and school performance
• Slow cognitive and social development during childhood
• Difficulty maintaining body temperature
• Decreased immune function, which increases susceptibility to infection
• Glossitis (an inflamed tongue)  

General Notes:

• Consuming Vitamin C with foods that contain Iron, aid in absorption (recommended to eat fruits or veggies with means)
• Two kinds of iron sources: haem iron (meat, poultry, fish) and non-haem iron (green leafy vegetables and certain grains that conatain iron)
• Tanins from tea inhibit absorption of iron
•  If you are doing a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle, you must eat almost twice the amount of iron, as non-haem iron is not absorbed as efficiently by the body

Day 12 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Chia pudding (ran out of produce to juice!)

Snack:

• Grounded Nutrition's Banana Cream Smoothie - YUH-MY!  This was my adventure in making it below.

Opening the young coconut.  Whitney (Grounded Nutrition) did this way better, but as long as I didn't take my hand off, I'm happy

Lots of coconut water and scraped out the meat - beautiful and YUM!

YUMMY - love my vanilla bean powder!

Lunch:

• Veggie soup

Snack:

• unsalted, raw almonds

Dinner:

• Veggie Zughetti (made it myself with Tofu) - pretty darn yummy.  Daughter loved the sauce especially.

 Tofu, onion, tomato, kale, fresh oregano & garlic, olive oil and lightly grilled eggplant on a bed of zucchini noodles (flash steamed)

Dessert:

• Hubby requested to try the Banana Cream Mylk Shake - delish!
• air-popped opcorn
• Honeybush Superstar Tea

Notes:

• I was supposed to send a list to hubby to get groceries.  I have an app on my phone with our old grocery list items on it.  It made me realize how different we now eat.  Feels great and fits in very well with our summer organic gardening endeavours!
• Another cool thing with eating tons of produce is we use everything!  No more wasting.  Very efficient due to juicing.  If something is getting to its due date, we juice it.

Day 11 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Juice - apple, kale, snap pea, spinach, carrot
• earl grey tea

Lunch:

• green salad
• tomato soup
• bread  :{
• lemon water
• peppermint tea

Snack:

• small veggie roll with zucchini humus

Dinner:

• Veggie soup
• Wrap - beet, spinach, tomato, onion with zucchini humus

Snack:

• popcorn with butter
• cucumber sticks with zucchini humus
• chia pudding

Notes:

• I was out running around and went to a restaurant that I thought would have good salads, or fresh veggies.  It was not.  Plain lettuce with a dressing and a tomato soup with probably some kind of cream in it.  Then I ate the bread.
• It was a challenge seeing all the other foods I would normally eat on there.  My "veggie glasses" went right out the window.  Did ok, though since I only ate bread and the rest was relatively ok.
• After making veggie soup last night, our stock at home was quite depleted, so we are running on a tub of zucchini humus and only certain veggies that are not very good by themselves ha ha!
• Veggie Soup - it is cooked.  Again a modification of just a 'raw food' diet.  I think that cooked foods has a place.  Perhaps it is different levels for everyone and you have to listen to your own instinct.  But I do believe that cooking foods has it's place.  An article in Scientific American "Fact or Fiction: Raw Veggies are Healthier Than Cooked Ones" discusses how some veggies are better for cooking and some are better raw.  I think diversity is good, then we get the best of both worlds. It's just what feels right for me.
• I need more recipes! 
• I have been using our Tanita Ironman Body Monitor to help measure changes (make sure I'm not losing a ton of water, muscle, etc.)  Things look good - a healthy amount of weight loss.  Body Fat % down, Muscle Mass - same, Body Water % - same, Visceral Fat - decreasing.  I feel good and the numbers support it.

Day 10 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Grounded Nutrition's Banana Smoothie
• water

Snack:

• carrots & Grounded Nutrition's Dilly Dip

practicing the wrapping!...

Lunch:

• Grounded Nutrition's veggie wrap (pea shoots, carrot, beet, garlic sprout) with Dilly Dip

Snack:

• seaweed (roasted)
• tea

Dinner:

• hubby's Veggie Stew
• Grounded Nutrition veggie wrap (pea shoots, carrot, brown rice, garlic sprout)
• Grounded Nutrition zucchini humus
• brown rice with seaweed
• juice: kale, snow pea, apple, carrot, spinach

snack:

• WINE!  ha!
• Almonds (still looking for raw almonds...)
• Grounded Nutrition Chia Pudding

Notes:

• I made all but two recipes from the Grounded Nutrition workshop.  
• Dinner was a feast!!  We had my lovely sister-in-law staying with us and she loved it too (so she says). 
• Grounded Nutrition recipes = YUM!
• I am so thankful for the interjection of recipes and variation.  Whew!  I needed that. 
• Organic Tradition's Cacao & vanilla bean powder- oh so good!  Cacao powder (a raw food) is super healthy (a source of beta-carotene, amino acids (protein), Omega-3 EFA's, calcium, zinc, iron, copper, sulphur, potassium, and one of the best food sources of muscle relaxing, stress relieving magnesium - more way more antioxidant flavanoids than red wine, green tea or blueberries) and a great add for my daughter who loves chocolate, but does not do well with it (cacao has 1/20th the amount of caffeine of coffee)
• I made the banana smoothie for breakfast, but I think I will save it for later in the day.  I like everything about the juicing routine and how i felt after it that we have been doing the past 10 days.  
• Told hubby about my realization about not being tired.  He thought about it and realized he hasn't been tired either, except when he has 'cheated' and had coffee. 

Day 9 - Raw & Alive

Tonight was stellar!  Here's the list for today first.

Breakfast:

• Juice - kale, cucumber, ginger, apple, snow pea, bean, carrot

Lunch:

• Organic Connections Zaghetti (YUUUUHHMM!!  I am investing in a spiral slicer as my daughter & myself, LOVE pasta)
• veggie sushi
• Smoothie - Blueberries, banana, fresh squeezed orange juice

Snack:

• tried two tea lattes as a cheat and they were so sweet, I couldn't drink either.  yikes!
• peppermint tea
• fig

Dinner:

• Organic Connections (again!) Thai Wrap - Cucumbers, carrot, red pepper, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, seasoned seeds with a spicy almond Thai sauce wrapped in a seasonal green or rice paper.
• Chai Latte (finally tried to get a proper latte to cheat with)

Snack:

• omg...  "Grounded Nutrition" made a feast of things: smoothies, pudding, wraps, dips, sauces... so wonderful.
• came home and made some for hubby too!

Notes:

• My mouth is really icky.  I noticed it before the workshop.  Gummy, furry teeth, plaque.  I know what it is: the two overly sugared tea lattes I had sips of, and the chai latte I had with dinner.  Sugar creates plaque - duh.  But the thing that clicked is what Whitney said as an example she did with a client where they took all packaged foods from the lady's kitchen and looked at the ingredients.  What is in them?  Take a look at your own boxes or packages of processed foods at home: SUGARS!  and whatever else is in there.  yes, there are sugars in veggies and fruits, especially when you juice, but for whatever reason, I haven't been getting that plaquey feeling on the days I don't have processed foods.   Such a significant difference, that it now feels really gross to have this plaquey, gummy feeling.  icchhhh!  There was sweeteners of various kinds (stevia, honey, maple syrup) in some of the samples too, but I'm going to try without, or diminishing it.
• My eczema is flaring up.  Not good.  Two points of view from tonights women:  1. I've spent decades ingesting the crap I have.  It's going to take a while to get rid of it too; letting go of the layers of ick that have built up.  2.  wheat and dairy often have a part in eczema.  Guess what I ate yesterday (that is my usual timeframe of eating certain foods that I realized were triggers, to an increase in eczema)?  Pita & Tzadziki.  
• You know when you are not feeling so hot, when you get better, it's not till you are better and then look back at how not good you were feeling, that you realize how much better you now feel?  I realized tonight that I haven't had moments of feeling tired, or blah.  yes, life gets frustrating, or overwhelming and I had a couple days of headachyiness (due to a cold, or "detoxing"?), but I don't feel the afternoon greys, or fatigued, or exhausted.  
• My cold (headache, stuffed nose, sore throat) came and went pretty darn quick.  I think it is due to my saliva/mucous not being so thick and gummy.
• I worked my tooshie off yesterday and thought I'd be screaming sore today.  Not even.  My calves are completely fine and my quads are lightly stiff.  Yihaw!
• I am noticing a really cool shift mentally and almost spiritually (interesting, huh?).  Not only do I feel more digestively efficient and abundant, I feel more clear in my mind and more intuitive or spiritually grounded.  I feel content and present - even though there are some issues on my plate that are pretty significant, I feel content.  I don't think I've ever felt to this degree before.  Rock n' ROLL baby!!
• Took Grounded Nutrition's "Raw Food On The Go" Workshop tonight hosted by Organic Connections Cafe.  Whitney, the instructor was amazing and the food... I looked at the recipes and thought "Hm...", but every dish she gave us to sample was FANTASTIC - SO delicious!  It gives me huge inspiration in making this a lifestyle choice, rather than a 15 day program.  I plan on taking many more workshops with her and posting about them - yihoo!!   Unreal how good that feels to eat so well with it being so yummy.  I know, I sound like I'm on something...  
• I've done cleanses before, three, I think?  I felt depleted, grumpy, couldn't wait for the days to pass so I could just "GO AND EAT WHAT I WANT TO EAT!"...  This is not the same at all.  The differences I feel are fundamental, innate, like things are just clicking, vibrant yet peaceful, like being "plugged in" or a hard line to Life.  In fact, I'd like to quit counting days if it weren't for in turn supporting my hubby in completing his time. 
• So Day 9 done.  After tonight, I don't see this as so much of a program anymore.  In fact, I'm not sure how I am going to transition back in to what I did before.  I will not transition in to what I did before.  I will still enjoy certain foods, and devour and appreciate meals out, but I know in our home, the shift is already well underway and it is something that is now a part of me.  I want more.  It just feels right!

Day 8 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Juice - pear, apple, snow pea, spinach, kale, ginger

Lunch:

• Wendell's Greek Salad (& pita and tzakziki) <--yep, I cheated.  if you know their pita and tzadziki, you know why I cheated. 
• peppermint tea

Snack:

• Pear
• almonds

Dinner:

• Brown Rice
• Carrots & humus

Notes:

• feeling really good!
• Calves burning balls of lactic acid(skip rope interval training the past couple days)
• Went to two workouts tonight: Bootcamp and ballet class.  Thought it'd be good to get the lactic acid in calves circulating.  Bootcamp instructor was a calf-Nazi.  She taught ballet too.  Ouch...
• Cold GONE!

Day 7 - Raw & Alive

Ok, I'm in the drivers' seat again...  Must have had my fill in my dreams last night (cut to: me gnawing on my pillow through the night)

Breakfast:

• juice: apple, carrot, strawberry, celery, kale, spinach.  

Snack:

• brown rice and seaweed
• green tea

Lunch:

• big huge salad (leftover from yesterday)
• Carrot sticks
• green tea

Dinner:

• more salad

Snack:

• popcorn
• vanilla honeybush tea

Notes:

• Willpower.  Lunch.  Made my daughter some homemade pasta with meat sauce and Parmesan Cheese.  Didn't.  have.  a.  bite. 
• As you can see, the program has shifted some since the beginning.  In the past few days I've added quinoa and rice.  I did a check in with our scale that shows a number of different readings and it is validating what I'm feeling:  I feel like my body is in deficit (body fat: muscle ratio increasing), especially with training.  So we have added some grains.  
• I am also looking in to the macrobiotic diet which sounds interesting.  Hard to find info on it for our area though.  As with many things in my life, I like to find my own balance from a handful of arenas rather than subscribing to one philosophy.  I will say this: I am really enjoying this evolution in nutrition.  It is something I definitely feel better for and excited to continue.
• much less gummy mouth still.
• Love that our daughter is so experimental with the juices.  
• My eczema is not that great, but that always seems to coincide with hormonal fluctuations
• Juicing is a great way to use up our produce.  We used to waste so much money on uneaten organic produce.  Now, anytime something isn't made in to a meal, it is juiced.  I really value that.  

Day 6.5 - Junk Food Tourette's

It started around 2am.  I was finishing off doing my financial work on my computer.  The thought of a grilled cheese sandwich insidiously crept in to my head.  I even posted it on my social networking site.  Strange yes, but the replies tell me I'm not alone.

My husband and I shut down the house, but on the way upstairs, the flood gates opened:

Me: "a plate of hashbrowns with oregano, lots of ketchup and salt!"  
Hubby: "pardon?"
Me: "When I was younger, I'd put a slab of butter in the frying pan, then basically deep fry hashbrowns until they were golden brown with oregano.  Then I'd sliiide them off the pan, in the round flat shape, right on to the plate and then put ketchup and lots of salt on."
Hubby: "What are you talking about?  You'd feel horrible after you ate that!"
Me:  "FRENCH FRIES WITH VINEGAR & KETCHUP"!
Hubby: "pardon?!"
(My fists clenched and shoulders tight and pulled up to my ears)
Me: "Oh jeez! BIG MAC MEAL!!"
(husband shaking his head)

This has happened a few times in my life.  My sisters totally know what I am talking about.  When I was a kid, when I got hungry, I'd get incredibly anxious and natter and shout out food that I wanted, how I wanted it prepared.  It would overtake my mind and my entire train of thought was one dish of food to the next.  It is unusual.  I think it is along the lines of me swearing when I get embarassed, a few of my friends can attest to that from a Pussycat Dolls Dance class last year.  If you know me, I'm usually quite composed and calm, and not a person of many words...  Not sure if these two things are connected but they don't happen that often.

We were brushing our teeth when I think Hubby realized something out of the ordinary was going on.  "French fries and gravy from the school cafeteria, shreddies with cheese, PACHOS & CHICKEN LIPS! (my body convulsing), Subway BLT, BANNOCK* dipped in butter !"     (*Native Canadian origin, deep fried bread)

These are Pachos, deep fried lattice fries, melted cheddar cheese, a touch of steak salt, and green onions, and  dipped in Emerald Isle sauce.  My favourite junk food EVER.

There we lay in bed, me mumbling about foods.  Hubby occassionally asking what certain foods were and then eagerly, I'd get to explain how the food was made or what it was.  He tried to tell me how horrible I'd feel after I ate whatever it was.  Didn't matter.  The dishes just kept tumbling out of my mouth as if I said them would allow me just a taste. 

He tried to change the topic. He started talking about travel.  My mind when to favourite dishes I'd eaten through the world, the "ISHI YAKI 'BURI BOP'" bowl at Morimoto's in Mexico City, the pizza at The Dromedario in Portugal, the Japanese food at my friends' wife's family restaurant in Tokyo...

Hubby mentioned something about Fiji and somewhere else.  I don't think I even heard what he said.
Me: "I wonder what they eat there..."  
Hubby:  "PACHOS!  They actually have a pacho on their national flag."
Me:  "yes, and they wear pacho hats on their head for their national celebrations"
Hubby:  "You know... you're really not good at cleansing..."
Me:  "No, I'm not"

He helped me get out of my cycle.  That is big because he is on a cleanse/program too, so he could have been really frustrated with me, but he wasn't. 

I was aching, but soooo happy I could go to sleep and dream of eating ANYTHING I WANTED.  Sweet dreams!

Today is a new day.  This morning, I registered for a "Raw Food On The Go" class this Wednesday.  I am direly in need of recipes.  I also am aware that I need to be eating more.  Yesterday's busy schedule and lack of planning was a large contribution to my losing control. 

I'm feeling better today.  Back in control.  Had my juice: apple, carrot, strawberry, celery, kale, spinach.  Had some brown rice and seaweed.  Going to go workout!

Day 6 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Juice-carrots, apples, ginger, broccoli, celery
• water with lemon

Snack:

• Apple

Lunch:

• Pear
• almonds

Dinner:

• Rice with seaweed
• salad - mixed sprouts, tomato, red onion, apple, carrot, lime (with avocado, lime, garlic, olive oil dressing)
• water

Snack:

• almonds
• Vanilla Honeybush Tea

Notes:

• today was a busy day: work out, clean up house/laundry, take down Christmas decorations, vacuum, wash floors, mother/daughter World War III, clean up, make dinner, make peace with child etc.  then hubby poured me a hot bath with a no-good trash magazine (gotta love those once in a while!). Up until bath, it was a non-stop day and that's where my challenge comes in.  I didn't make the time to eat today, and therefore feel deprived.  Plus, there's no hopping out to the grocery store here, so meal planning is a huge, huge must to make proper eating a must.
• We also did a breakdown of our current financial on eating and eating out so much.  Meal planning definitely a must!!  Huge savings to be had especially since we buy organic, but then have so much go to waste, and eat out on top of that.  Bad habits about to change people!
• I need to be eating more and juicing more and having more water.  
• To keep going with this, though my body loves the feeling of the foods I'm eating, I need more diversity.  I can only take so many apples, almonds, carrot sticks and humus.  I need some great recipes, some inspiration.  I've put out some calls...  wish me luck.  I'll keep you posted with whomever inspires me.
• How do I feel?  Good!  I feel "CLEAN"!   My body is happy.

Day 5 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• apple, blueberry, carrot, beet, parsley, celery & leek (took 2 sips that came right back up)
• coconut water (2 glasses)

Snack:

• Apple

Lunch:

• Carrot sticks & humus

Dinner:

• curried quinoa
• vegetable lentil soup

Snack:

•   Pau D'Arco tea
• almonds

Note:

• Here's my story about our morning Juice:

Me:  "What's in this one hun?"
Him: "apple, blueberry, carrot, beet, parsley, celery & leek"

(gives me the glass - cheers!  We both drink.  hm... wow that leek really is strong at the end...  He looks at me.  I look at him.  We both take another sip and he pours some for our daughter.  "huh."  Not sure she will be a very happy camper if she has this one.  That leek leaves a strong aftertaste...  She hesitates.  He looks at me.  I look at him.)

Me:  "I don't think she'll be too happy...  I don't feel too good... not because of your juice..." (didn't want to be ungrateful for his juice)
Him: "I think I'm going to throw up!" (he runs past me to the main floor bathroom) and I run behind him for the bathroom upstairs.

• lesson - do not juice an entire leek.  I've never had a reaction to anything that fast before.  It was harsh!  & hilarious.  Kinda gross, but jeez...  Maybe a slice of leek, the inside of the leek too, I read.  Not an entire leek.
• Apples and almonds.  I'm bored of them.  Still like 'em, but I'm bored.  Need more options to eat things.  Variety.  Need more variety.

Day 4 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Juice - 

Snack:

• Apple
• Almonds

Lunch:

• seaweed (ordered a seaweed udon. ok, I ate about 4 udon noodles too...)
• Veggie wrap (in rice paper)

Snack:

• Cheezies & Chips
• veggies

Dinner:

• small piece of lasagna
• Garlic bread
• 1 slice of sushi maki
• edamame

Snack:

• small cinnamon bun
• port

Note:

• So I think I mentioned in the beginning of this that I had a family event tonight.  Yup, I was not on the program tonight, but dind't really feel guilty about it.  Why?  I don't want this 'upgrade' in my eating style to be 15 days.  I want it to be a lifestyle.  So, I ate in moderation, enjoyed it, now on with the program.  
• It was nice because as myself and my hubby just chatted about, he and I really overeat.  I am really getting in touch with eating in moderation i.e. instead of eating a bowl full of chips, I had 6.  I ate probably 25% the size of lasagna I'd usually have had, but at the end of the meal, I felt really good.
• I did notice, that my mouth was more gummy!  Seriously, the plaque build up on my teeth was considerably more.  It irritated me during the evening.  

Day 3 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• Juice (kale, apple, pear, celery
• apple

Snack:

• almonds
• Pear

Lunch:

• carrots & humus

Dinner:

• Went to Organic Connections in White Rock (Specializes in raw, organic food!)
• Green Juice Blend: Cucumber, kale, celeri, apple, pear, lemon and ginger
• Thai Wrap: Cucumbers, carrot, red pepper, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, seasoned seeds with a spicy almond Thai sauce wrapped in a seasonal green or rice paper.
• Spicy Warm Red Quinoa Bowl (Cooked meal):
  Bursting with vitamins and minerals! Notably high in protein, quinoa grain is a near-perfect food. Paired with seasonal steamed veggies in a mild creamy curry sauce! (base of coconut milk)

 Snack:

• Popcorn with butter!

Notes:

• LUUUUV Organic Connections!  So inspiring and nice to see what you can do with whole, raw foods.  They are even hosting a 30 day Raw Food program and a workshop for Raw Food On The Run & Raw Food Basics in January!  and the ambiance there is so mellow and lovely - you can actually have a conversation there - wow!
• My insides feel relief.  I seriously feel like I am in-line with my body.  It feels happy, content, vibrant (aside from a bit of a cold).  I just feel more efficient!  Really enjoying this. 
• Very thankful for my husband as he does so much of the preparing of juice etc.  What a dude!

Day 2 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast:

• juice - apple, pear, carrot, kale, celery

Snack:

• Carrot Sticks & Humus

Lunch:

• Vegetable lentil soup
• green salad with avocado, lemon & garlic dressing
• Water

Snack:

• Pear
• then an hour later: Almonds & Apple
• Vanilla honeybush tea with a bit of manuka honey (my throat was scratchy)

Dinner:

• vegetable lentil soup
• green salad (yes, both soup and salad are THAT good that I would eat it lunch and dinner!)

Snack:

• Ok, here is my "moderation".  I didn't even ask, I swear.  My husband has given me a glass of wine.  It was a long day... and I don't feel an ounce of guilt over it!  Summerhill Ehrenfelser - yum "grapes"

Notes:

• My abdominal/digestive area feels really good!  It feels good in the sense that it is not bloated... that doesn't even do it justice.  I just feel tighter, trim, not carrying food that is slugging through me.
• My digestive system feels very efficient.  I won't say more than that.  Read between the lines.
• Strangely enough my saliva feels not as mucky.  I'm not even drinking more.  It just feels better.
• I have a headache tonight. Not sure if it is a cold onset?
• Other than the headache, I feel really, really good!  

Day 1 - Raw & Alive

Breakfast: 

• salad (greens, mixed sprouts, carrots, corn, tomato, onion)
• juice - celery, kale, apple, carrot, broccoli

Snack:

• juice - carrot, apple

Lunch:

• Greek Salad (2 wedges of pita & some tzadziki <--moderation, see?)
• Green tea

Dinner:

• Vegetable Lentil Soup (Hubby made it - awesome)

Snack:

• Pau D'Arco tea
• almonds

 Notes:

• My body feels relieved.  Relieved that it is not going to face that "FULL" feeling.  I dislike that feeling of being "full" - tummy bursting, "Why did I eat that much?"
• When I did eat a good amount of the vegetable lentil soup, a part of me felt like I was still hungry, but it was moreso that I just wasn't full.  I think when I am HUNGRY, my body says "get that FULL feeling".  But I wasn't.  it wasn't even the amount that made a difference, it felt like it was more so what I ate, that it wasn't all filler.  
• There is a feeling of energy when you eat 'clean', alive foods.
• Juicing - FEELS AWESOME!  My 3 year old daughter says her body goes "BING!" when she drinks it.  Mine does too!  I almost can't describe it, but it is better than any caffeine kick or sugar rush you could get (in the case that you think you can't do without coffee, or that can of pop).  It feels innately right, like it just clicks in to every cell and rejuvenates it.  LOVE IT!
• Having food prepared is so key for me.  Especially for how skiddish I get when I get hungry, I need to grab something that is in the zone.  Case in point: the Greek salad with pita - we took my daughter out for a celebration and the place lacked great choices and I was HUNGRY.  I panicked.  Hubby just shook his head and agreed how not good at 'cleanses' I am.  "No, I'm not, which is why I'm not doing a cleanse."  His salad and vegetable lentil soup were so amazing, his meal prep makes it so much easier...
• I WANT to work out.  I want to kick some butt!  I attribute this to my veggie friends.  "Thank you for your energy little guys!"
• This is waaay better than the miso-soup deal-io I did years back... way better.  Too much fermented soy, rice & barley = not nice tummy etc.

Alive & Raw

Happy New Year everyone!

How are your tummies and bodies?  It's been a while since writing, but I'm back!

Every year, this happens: Christmas holidays come, visiting, extra treats, on the road even more, and then BAM! the New Year comes and my body aches for reprieve, "Just STOP, for the love of all things, just stop!".  And this year, I didn't even go super-crazy - just the two days of Turkey dinner madness at my parents' place and the extra snacks (potato chips at night for a few nights we were there).  Still.  I feel incredibly saturated.  I feel plugged, heavy, pudge from the inside, less energy, dreary, plugging along.  That's what I feel.

During the holidays, I checked back on a documentary I've been meaning to see for a while, but didn't find available in Canada until this time around.  "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" by Joe Cross.  Very intriguing documentary.  Not in the sense that I think juicing is revolutionary or the best thing for everyone, but moreso for the emphasis he places on the misconception of the North American diet.  Amidst his quest for overcoming illness and being overweight, Australian Joe Cross goes to the U.S. to juice fast for sixty days.  Through the documentary, he interviews Dr. Joel Fuhrman, author of the New York Times Best Selling book "Eat To Live" and subsequent book "Super Immunity".  He interviews others on their eating habits, their health issues.

My opinion?  Any human being is going to lose weight on a juice fast and I do not think it is a healthy way to lose/maintain weight.  But what stood out to me is the epidemic of mediocre wellness, the plight for doctors to fix us, for medications to make us feel better, thinking it is just normal, but continually inputting such over-processed crap in to our bodies, taking away the needed space our bodies have for things that are alive, natural and meant to nourish us since the beginning of time.  How do you argue with 200,000 years (give or take) of human evolution on this planet?  It reminds me of an example on unethical marketing done in the 1970's-1980's and beyond in third world countries, to tell mothers formula was healthier than breastmilk. 

Both the documentary and book made me look in the mirror and realize I've been wearing an incredibly distorted (and common) pair of glasses - seeing my own diet and nutrition through a perspective that doesn't really match my intuition at this point in my life.

I grew up eating mostly what I want.  But I do recall being quite young, thinking "I wish I could just eat vegetables and fruit".  That wouldn't happen though - our family was somewhat typical in our 1980's North American eating habits.  My mom made most of our meals homemade and some were Japanese dishes which were quite healthy.  But we also had "The Chef" (Boyardee) feeding us, some instant Japanese noodles, the golden arches on weekends, and when I was in highschool, and could afford my own lunches, man were my choices poor! 

Cut to: me all grown up.  I'm 37.  I thought my little family was pretty healthy.  At the grocery store, aside from a loaf of bread, everything else are ingredients - rarely a pre-packaged meal.  I make our pasta sauce with organic, free-range beef, homegrown tomatoes, and kale.  But we are on the road a lot.  Anywhere we drive, is on average thirty minutes away which means, after we eat breakfast, get ready for the day, we are on the road, doing our errands, then lunch time.  Go back home thirty minutes there and back, or grab a bite?  Common sense is to grab a bite for me and my daughter and so we go to our usual places, Cactus Club, sushi, the occasional pasta. 

"Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" had me assess the components of my diet.  There are some really healthy things amidst what we eat, but not a lot of it purely.  Pasta, the white rice at sushi, the bag of chips snack, a very sweek granola bar, sauces, dips, etc. 

Over the past six months, I have looked at the health of myself and those around me that I love.  My views on medicine have shifted (whether it be Western medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine, naturopathic etc.).  I believe that medicine and each branch has huge merit, but I also believe that our wellness is compromised by a blind faith our society seems to have in it - "if something goes wrong, take a pill, a tincture, it must be in your head, etc".

My realization is:  I am plugging in so many 'fillers' in to my body that I have dug myself in to ignorance about the nutrition my body needs and deserves to be well.  A vegetable is not a side dish that I forgot to have in some meals.  It should be the majority of what I eat.

I was going to do the 15-Day Reboot Your Life program that the "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" folks put up on their www.rebootyourlife.com website.  I am having issue (not able to access the pages) with the 15-day RYL website and the program is not entirely what I want (do not want to do 5 days of just juicing), so I am having to modify as the days go on.  My husband is doing a modified program of the Wild Rose Cleanse (with no pills) and the RYL program.

I am not really a 'cleanse' type person, and I think for everyone's sake (I am mean when I am deprived of food), I will keep "moderation" of daily life guilt-free - if events come up, I'm not going to deny whatever is there.  But for the next couple of weeks, I am loading up on tons of veggies, and fruit, mostly raw and this will be the majority of my intake.   I am juicing as well.

Yup, I'm posting.  Each day will be an account of what is going in and any notes of the process.  Will it make a difference?...  Guess we'll see...