Me and Little M chilled in residence as we all had a pretty solid exposure to sun yesterday. Another consistent theme for me in the tropics is getting a really DARK tan fast, and getting eaten alive. I wear sunscreen/block like a chicken marinating in sauce, and am really diligent about putting it on at least 30 min before sun exposure. My mom was a Public Health Nurse before she tore off her suit and became Super-Grammy. I remember the talk on sun damage she made us sit in on as teenagers - yes parents, talks like this stick. But still, being out on the water, there ain't no shade out there and the sun is coming from all angles, bouncing off the water etc. Hubby jokes that when I step off the plane in the tropics, I tan over night.
As far as bug bites go, hubby and Little M are good. The majority of the bites aren't mosquitoes, but rather I think no-see-ums. Our abode has screens, but those little suckers just stroll right through the screens straight to my skin. I have about 20+ bites so far. I am betting I hit 60 by the time we leave. I am using Keys Redi-Care Healing Spray which is one of my must-have's on trips like this. It is a spray that relieves itchy, skin due to sun damage, bug bites, general skin irritants, eczema etc.. It is a moisturizer, helps heal minor skin cuts, scrapes etc., and is an anti-inflammatory. PLUS, it is a natural repellant for crawling and flying insects, AND it is vegan, not tested on animals and does not have preservatives. One might think, "it isn't working if you have 20 bites", but where I get bitten seems to be an indication of where I missed: feet, toe/finger knuckes (which are the worst), ankles, higher up thigh, behind knees etc.), or a reminder that I forgot to apply (last night). I am working on befriending one of the gekkos outside our doors to sit on my body and run around poaching biting bugs. I may need three or four, maybe one for each extremity and two for my body -front and back. Little M thinks that is the greatest idea - she loves gekkos and asked if one of them would please sit on her too, just to be a pet. Till then, we'll continue putting the fan in our room on high enough to feel like a wind-tunnel to keep the damn things from being around. I am the sticky yellow paper - as long as I'm around, the bugs are on me and off others. Today, I do relent to a Benadryl.
Afternoon is girl time. Me and Chica Boom head out. Another frustrating session for moi. Chica's taking everything in stride - she just had a baby 6 months ago and she's out there charging it. Never in my life, has there been an activity as frustrating as surfing. I feel like an amateur. It's that feeling of knowing you can do better, but can't figure out what the heck is standing in the way. Why aren't the neurons firing together now? "cooome on. hellooooo?" I came in and was so ticked, I tossed my board on the sand. I'm a pretty mellow gal. I don't stray too far from centre when it comes to emotions, but man, I was just so choked which then follows with "what is wrong with me?!" in that ultra-agitated voice that sounds like Grover having a fit. Then I looked at Little M...
sigh.
She was sitting on the sand shoveling away beside hubby. In my radius of toxic energy, she continued on what she was doing. I felt pretty low. Hubby went out for a session (in a thought bubble over his head: "duck and cover, leave the child, she won't eat her"...). I just sat with Little M, hopped in to her world - just dropped whatever was going on in my head and just played with her, whatever she was doing and we had FUN! We made a fairy village in the sand. All the frustrations just disappeared, but something surfaced as well.
Surfing is a part of my life that I love. It is also a part of my life that is not in my everyday. So when we do go, if it is a couple weeks, or a few, I don't want to spend 30-50% of our time frustrated or negative, even if it does drive me. That's not fun for me, her or anyone. I also don't want her to see that surfing is frustrating.
As with anything in life, people are always striving, ya know? That's human nature. But it's the way we strive that counts. We can belittle ourselves, steep in frustrations, talk about what we're not, what we don't like, or what we should be, but I don't want to be one of those people anymore, especially in the face of Little M.
I want her to learn that things worth doing/learning, take time and take perseverance. It isn't about the perfect measures, but hopefully is about the process. Whether it is surfing, or feeling in not as good shape as I want to be, trying anything new, she will learn 'how to learn' through me and those around her. What I DO want her to learn is that when you want something, be proud of pursuing it, keep at it, don't waste energy on being frustrated, and just keep 'doing' and investing in why you do love all of it. Chasing the past, or what isn't, or what should be just makes life tense and who needs that when you're on a beach?! Value who you are so that you can become what you strive to be. Be gracious in how you strive.
I love the ocean. I love everything about surfing. I hope she continues her love of the ocean and comes to love surfing too. Man, she teaches me a lot.
Time to just get in the hot spot, bite off more than I can chew, laugh and enjoy the journey.
We headed back, had a nice pizza dinner with our friends. Way better than what we could have scraped together from our groceries. I love pizza!
(scratch, scratch)
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