The day before yesterday, I received a phone call from a dear friend. 'K' is the kind of friend who, when we met in 2007, we just clicked right from the start. We had so many similarities - career, beliefs, lifestyles, personal style, aspirations. She herself is a woman who spreads light, lives well, is a fighter, and an intuitive, heart-driven woman. We live about 5,000km apart, but in the big life moments since we worked together and became friends five years ago, we remain close.
As friends, we have gone through the end of relationships, the death of a parent. I had my daughter. A year later, she had her daughter Billie (and a second daughter since). When I went through my issues this February, she was there for me. She coincidentally had a similar surgery as me in April and I hope I was there for her too. 'K' is one of those friends that is special in my heart; even though we are separated by distance and time, she is just a closer friend than many. How many times I have wished for her to be just down the street.
When the phone rang and I said "Hello", she said my name and then paused. Instead of her usual vibrant voice, when she spoke, she was quiet and deep. Those kind of moments in life make the world slow... I went to my office alone. "It is Billie..." Her voice broke and then went silent. I sat down, and tears filled my eyes, I took a breath and waited. She struggled a while, and all I could offer was "What's happened?...".
Over the next moments, as painfully as she was given the same words, she struggled to relay them back to me. Her two and a half year old daughter was diagnosed with a more rare form of leukemia. The next moments, we cried together, she told me how things had lead up, and a bit of what was to come. Before long, she had to go. She was at the hospital, about to go in to see more doctors, get more tests.
I hung up the phone and sat in my office a while, getting my own self together. I went back to my husband and daughter, my sister-in-law and two year old nephew. I watched those two kiddos and my heart just broke.
I want to understand, I want to be able to wrap my head around what she is going through so I can do whatever I can to be of help or support. ...To look at my daughter and think "what if?"... That alone takes my breath away. What a horrible nightmare K must be going through. I am so at a loss that my friend has to go through this, to see her daughter fight such an unimaginable battle so incredibly young. The helplessness she must feel, just wanting to trade places. How does a mother go through this? Why does a mother have to go through this?
At the drop of a hat, I will go if and when she needs me. I am hoping, without hounding her, that she knows I will be there for her, even if it is just to get her a cup of tea and give her a hug. I'll be there.
In the time until then, my mind and heart seem to spin. My reaction is for empathy, for sadness and even anger. But if what energy is manifested by me, does go back out there, and is perpetuated, then I need to be mindful and make a decision about what I put back out there to be of help to those who are affected or life in general.
I believe in prayers. I believe in meditations, intentions, positive thoughts. I believe fundamentally, that what we exude goes somewhere, especially our subconscious thought.
Horrible things in life happen, but we, as human beings, are made to be compassionate, to be there for those we love. There is a level of helplessness people around those who need support feel, and due to not knowing where to put their energy, people can sometimes get stuck in that. What else can you do?
I don't believe horrible things in life happen to create more pain. The horrible things are horrible enough. I believe pain is meant to instigate love and healing. I hope if horrible things happen, they will at least bring people together. If we invest our thoughts in love, love will grow. If we invest our thoughts in how unfair life is, that is what will grow.
My friend, her daughter and family are brilliant. They are gorgeous and good from the inside, out. Who knows why things like this happen, but I do know they deserve to be surrounded by love and healing energy right now.
When I see my daughter and think of Billie, my heart breaks for her and her family, but for every inkling of sadness, helplessness, fear etc., I will send out many more prayers and intentions of strength, wellness, and love.
I am writing this because I am asking you to please send thoughts of healing, wellness, love, strength and faith to their whole family and especially little Billie. If your heart as a parent is moved, please send thoughts for strength and love for K and her partner, so when maybe they feel they can't go on anymore, or aren't sure how they will have the strength to continue, they will feel that love and perhaps can rest for just a little while or find an inspiration of peace. If when you look at your little ones, or recall a fight of your own, please send positive thoughts of wellness, healing, strength and love to little Billie. It is all I can think of to do to help. If there is anything I've posted, I hope that this matters.
Just posting this video again in the hopes that it may inspire and realize the power of thoughts.
Get well little Billie!!
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