Loss, Balance & Wellness

"A luminous light remains, where a beautiful soul has passed." Antoine de Boveua

Within 10 days, we heard the news of a family' friends father passing away, a coworkers father dying in an aviation accident, then a young woman we worked with lost her life to cancer.

One life, dedicated to the aid of his community, servicing them with aviation transportation from their area to the mainland. A man with a family; a son who became a friend to us, who has children of his own. They are one of the strongest families I know. A heroic life of pioneer-spirit. He ended his own life at the age of 86; choosing to depart with as much courage and independence as he had lived life.

Another life, ended in an aviation accident. A respected member of our community, a leader and again a man with a family. I knew his daughter through work. She is a brilliant, intelligent woman with a family of her own. In a formation training accident, her father, his passenger and his plane fell from the sky.

One more life, a coworker around the same age as myself, mid 30's, fought a rare form of lung cancer. Her life ended in a hospital bed with her loved ones around her.

Three lives completed, finished, over. You never know when your time is, if you believe there is "a time". So you muddle through the best you know how, most of the time, not realizing how precious life is, nor how much control over it we actually have.

A lot of times, in my own life, I get lost along the way. I end up feeling so stressed or off, unhealthy or just sad - life stuff. Then something happens that makes you 'check in' with the bigger picture. Death has a way of doing that.

I think of my life, what my goals are that I want to accomplish. I want to be loving towards my child and my husband, my family and my friends. I want to challenge myself physically and mentally and express what I can to add to people's lives if possible. I want wellness to the best of my humanly flawed abilities (education tempered with moderation). From there, here it is, that token, catchphrase word, that everyone says they want... "balance". Balance isn't one place in time, where if you stand on one foot, with your lifted foot flexed, your lips puckered and your left arm patting your head, where you will finally be 'ok'. It's as ever-changing as our day-to-day lives are. It is a concept, and knowing of oneself to tell when we are off course, how to get back to who we are and what we are meant to do. If you don't know the centre, you won't know when you're not on it. I look back at my life and know that the times I was most balanced, I was the most well. There is wellness in knowing who you truly are and how you work.

There are key areas in my life that are a priority: myself, my family and giving back to the world whatever I can. As I get older, my dad's belief of "if you choose to do something, do it well", becomes louder and louder. In life, you have a finite amount of energy. It's what you do with it that makes the difference. In martial arts, people invest entire lifetimes learning one discipline. Some people maybe learn a few, but if you tried to learn everything, you probably won't get very far and will end up really screwing yourself up. Learning languages. You can learn a few, but if you try and do it all, you're not going to make much sense to anyone.

In life - I guess right now, I'm trying to reassess where my energy is going and how. Back to that belief of 'wherever you put your energy, and how you apply it, is what will grow'. I felt so blue yesterday missing my career, feeling on the periphery because I am now a mom. "does it really matter in my life?" It did once. Does it anymore? Am I holding on to old values that don't serve me where I am at now? If I am, I'm wasting a lot of energy that is better served paying it forward to refining goals, and focusing my time on things that are of service to me now.

"A brilliant light remains, where a beautiful soul has passed" Antoine Boveua. I write it again because I love that quote. Sometimes, our own light falls dim, less bright and others around us give us their light. Or help us recharge our light just be listening and understanding.  Sometimes, we have light to share. Sometimes a light is lost and we, as people around that person, take their light along our journeys. Like a ripple in the water, the energy is always carried and never truly extinguishes. (deep, man)

So, you and I, have one life (for the most part?). When you bundle up all those memories of a lifetime you have and the memories those around you will carry with them when you are gone, consider: "Where is your energy going? What are you investing in consciously and especially unconsciously?" Whatever you are investing it in, you are becoming good at, so make sure it is being focused in the direction of wellness, love or productivity and remember that life is always renewing itself everyday. So should I. So should you.

I look up to my bookshelf and there sits a quote that I look at daily, especially on those days that are out of balance, "What best serves the growth of my soul?" It always seems to put things in to perspective and streamlines the stuff that doesn't count, from the stuff that will hopefully make a life remarkable (at least and especially) to me.

Dedicated to three spectacular lives: RF, DH & JC