Favourite Products & Things - Part II

This post is successive to Favourite Products (May).  Here are some more lovely things that make my life groovy that I thought I'd pass on :)  Click on the names of the recommendations (not the photos) for links to the product page.


So Delicious Coconut Milk Beverage

• I am not one to drink a glass of cow's milk.  It just makes me feel gross - mucky.  I have tried rice milk, almond milk, soy milk, but this one is my new favourite thanks to my husband. 
• Coconut fat contains lauric acid (also found in breast milk) which contains antimicrobial/antiviral properties
• Is a vegetarian source of medium chain fatty acids (MCFAs) which help with weight maintenance without raising cholesterol
• The milk is clean tasting, light (but still a nice consistency).  Makes my body feel gooood!

Smooze Fruit Ice

• All three of us in this family LOVE Smoozes.  Yummy!  Coconut frozen milk paired with Passion Fruit, Pink Guava, Pineapple.  Fantastic for the summertime

Organic Connections Cafe @ White Rock Beach

• Hubby and M found this restaurant/cafe a couple weeks ago.  I recently stopped in and fell in love - peaceful, gorgeous view, delicious food and wonderful staff - my new place to slip away and write my blog!
• "A vegan/vegetarian 'live' food cafe and meeting place on the beach... We serve primarily organic 'live' food cuisine and various cooked options."
• YIHOOO!  Thankful for such a great new place to park my tastebuds! 

BOOKS

"The Talent Code" by Daniel Coyle

• It stimulated my thoughts on the learning process and fired my desire to continue learning.
• If you have children, are pursuing learning skills in your own life, or just for the love of life, it is a great read.  Makes you feel anything is possible if you just commit

"Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson

• My lovely sister recommended this one to me for insight in to relationships with regards to significant others  - Thank you L!
• I kind of cringed when I (someone who values my own space) heard the title.   I thought, "Sounds kind of like 'Stalk Me Gently'".  I don't want to be "held tight", just understood and to be understanding.  This book has some good perspectives on understanding one another.  It "clicks" in the head and heart.

"Don't Shoot The Dog" by Karen Pryor

• Using Positive Reinforcement for behavioural training (not limited to, by any means, dogs!)
• It changed the way I have directed my parenting, and most other relationships in my life, and most importantly dealing with myself. 

"Flourish: A Visionary Understanding of Happiness & Well-Being"  by Dr. Martin Seligman

•  I keep coming back to this book, have not read it through yet, but what I have processed of it, clicks. 

"Style Statement" by Carrie McCarthy & Danielle LaPorte

• "Your Style Statement is the two words that define the true you. It’s a touchstone for making more powerful choices in your life – from your wardrobe to your living room, your relationships to your career plans. Your Style Statement is where your essence meets your expression."
• A fun book to delve inside your inner style cosmos.  Fun to do
  • yet another book recommendation from my friend Miss R.  She finds the best books!

and my all-time favourite book:
"Warrior of the Light" by Paulo Coelho

• Turn the page, find inspiration.  Love This Book.

INTERNET RESOURCES

Environmental Working Group

• I mentioned ratings of this on my last "Favourites" post with regards to Keys skin care.  But this website is great for checking the level of toxicity in anything from makeup to sunscreens, shampoos to babies/kids skin care products. I do not buy a skin-care product without it.

Rate MD

• Interesting site to check out patient reviews of their doctors/dentists/healthcare providers.

CBC Radio One

• This is a Canadian radio station.  It has stimulating, mindful programs that are thought-provoking, informative and carries minimal "noise".  
• It delivers current events in a more informative, rather than sensational, fearful way.
• Pop radio is to a nightclub, as CBC Radio One is to a thoughful world discussion with a good friend in a lovely environment.
• In my earlier years,  I'd hear it as I scanned through the channels, and felt the same as hubby does - joking about the mellow-voices.  But I gotta say, I have changed my tune - LOVE IT.  I feel better in my days for it

I  will leave it at that for now.  Again, if any product interests you, please do your own research to find out if it is right for you, and if you have any products/links you would like to post, I'd love to hear from you below.  Share the good things in life!  Consumer power :)

Happy Thursday everybody :)

Courage

Ok, I know.  You are on a cliffhanger, just aching to hear about my post about killing plants, and my views on gardens (complete sarcasm).  Well, you'll have to wait once more 'cuz today was a huge reminder in one of life's lessons c/o my daughter M.

Backtrack a bit.  M, is two years old, shortly to enter the world of 'three'.  Last month, we went to Disneyland, California.  She was under the weather.  Being conscientious of her age, we took her and her cousin on the more benign rides - the Tea Cups, Dumbo etc.  Our third ride:  we stood afoot the great spread of the "It's A Small World" white and silver castle and lined up.  Our little boat soon arrived and the three of us, her grandma, uncle and cousin climbed aboard, and in to the tunnel we sailed.  "It's a small world, after allllll...." ramped up the volume (etching it in to my brain to this day), the darkness engulfed us and the panic set in for my little girl.

We tried to reassure her.  She screeched.  We tried to shelter her.  She climbed my husband's head.  With fingers outstretched to me, to 'make it stop, my momma, dear God, make it stop', I held her in a tiny ball in my lap.  Thirteen minutes and twelve seconds to go... that damn ride is fifteen, skull-scraping minutes of creepy dolls, grinning from ear-to-ear while loudly taunting its helpless, boat-trapped victims.  What kind of place is this?!  Fifteen minutes.

So ensued the fear of the dark for my little girl.  She wouldn't even go in Mickey Mouse's waiting room in his cute little house because it was dark.  I pleaded with her to just give the musical live performance Aladdin, a chance (my entire family was there to see it).  She did, but when it started with the gigantic twelve-foot head of a lion with glowing, red eyes roaring and coming to life... that was the end of that.  She and I left.

We survived Disneyland.  We returned home.  She asked for lights on in the car on the ride home when darkness fell.  She asked for a nightlight in her room.  So when the ballet recital came up, I cringed.  She is, what I believe to be, a very reasonable child.  So if I ask her to try something, and I see courage given, I will respond with respect for her choice.  For her dress-rehearsal, I took her early to get settled, to get to know the stage, the audience, the type of performances etc.  I could see flashbacks of Aladdin streaking across her peach-like cheeks.  Horror in her eyes... but we watched... and she soon settled.  The lights were not completely down - whew!

The day of the recital drew near and I wondered how she would do.  We would take it as it came, as a family.  I clumsily applied as minimal makeup as I could (oi, I dislike doing makeup on a two year old - seems so ridiculously wrong).  Then my husband and the other ballet dad, stood before us delivering the news that her performance would be the last on the two hour program.  "What are they thinking?!?!  Having the little ones last?!"  My heart sunk.  No nap time, complete darkness, a full audience... I shook my head.  My stomach flip-flopped.  I looked at her and just gave her a hug.  As I tugged and pulled her hair in to the tiniest ballerina bun you have ever seen, I told her how it was all going to go down.  She should know (I always told her I would be straight with her - that if there were something I thought she might be afraid of, I would tell her and that we'd get through it together).  I could feel her little heart bear down, but we just kept on moving.  In to the auditorium we went.

We got inside, the lights fell completely dark.  I held my breath.  The audience was FULL.  She took it all in.  She squirmed in her chair, then on my lap, upon her daddy's lap.  She was doing well, but was expending a lot of energy dealing with the surroundings so I asked hubby to take her outside to run a bit. 

Intermission came and her auntie, cousin and grandpa arrived.  Her eyes lit up and she was SO excited to see them.  She explained to them that this was her final performance, her recital and helped to escort them towards their seats.  It meant the world to her just that they came.  It just gave her that extra boost of excitement to outweigh her nerves.

I lead her to the backstage holding and amongst the hundred or so performers all done up in their elegant costumes, I asked if she was good.  Without looking at me, she responded "I'm good my momma."  She touched my cheek and delved in to the colouring book her teacher gave her.   "Does that mean she is 'GOOD', or that she is struggling?!...  what do I do?"  Her teacher kicked me out.   I backed away, hesitating to leave her... Listen to instincts...  I did - I returned audience-side.

Fifteen or so dance numbers went by.  Her music came on with a surprise, as they were scheduled to be the very last, but they were pulled up.  Out came the little bundles of yellow, pink and white tulle, lead by their teacher.  The teacher 'blew' all the ballerinas away from the hoola-hoop like dandelion fluff from a stem.  Away M went, running free across the length of the stage - her sweetness, her love of music, her energy, just out there for everyone to see.  ...Then she came upstage to the front as the other girls continued running... Her toes close to the edge, knees bend, butt out and elbows back, she strained forwards, facing the hundreds in the audience squinting her eyes in to the darkness "WHERE'S MY MOMMA?" she said... (looking, looking, looking...)  You're damn rights I waved!  I need to ask her if she did see me, but regardless, off she went again rejoining her class and before you could say "aww" they were taking their bows.  M helped the teacher with her prop, carried it off stage, the last little ballerina to exit, and that was that.  I melted like a pat of butter in a frying pan.  Speechless.

I asked her tonight how she felt being up there.  She responded, "I was nervous.  A little bit nervous, but I was brave, momma...  It felt good".

Why the hell am I posting this?  Am I just a proud mom?  Yes, I am.  But at the same time, I saw something today that I will never forget for as long as I live; a huge reminder in courage.  In the past couple of weeks, I've seen M struggle, fight, and falter.  Today, she broke through all of that with such mindful courage and just fully expressed herself and had fun up there on that stage.  We all go through life sometimes having the pants scared off us.  From her little world, one experience terrorized her, others validated it... but today, she mustered all the courage she could to be with her leotard gang, and she did it, looking the darkness and all those eyes front and centre.

If she can do it, so can I, and so can you.  May you find great courage in your day!

Vancouver's Loss

I was in the middle of writing a blog about killing plants the day before yesterday but you lucky people get to wait for that one.  My daughter asked me tonight what "passionate" means.  I told her it meant "to feel very, very strongly about something".  Well, I am passionate about what happened last night in our own backyard (Vancouver), so I'm going to address it in a bit of different manner than some would think reasonable.

Yesterday, myself, my husband and my daughter muddled our way in to town amongst the unusually hectic traffic (going in to Vancouver).  Backed up passed 200th Street at 3pm, the majority of vehicles we passed had Canuck's paraphernalia on the dashboard, on the passengers, flags out the windows etc. It was reminiscent of last years' Olympics.  Entire communities rallying together.

We ran through the quietest Ikea we have ever seen, and then booted it to our local sushi joint to watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins.  There was no doubt our Canucks would win the cup at home.  Their record had forecast such - winning every home game in the playoffs.  Summary aside, they lost.   I will leave that to the sportscasters.

As we sat with friends in our private "VIP" tatami room, we watched the news unfold live - a car set on fire, groups of people turning over another vehicle, windows being smashed, newspaper boxes turned over, people cheering all of this on, looting, swearing and taunting etc.  The police shut down all transportation to the downtown corridor. 

The four of us adults watched in complete disbelief and sadness.  Thank goodness the coverage was limited on the channel we were watching, as my daughter was in full-view.  It was like a kick in the gutt to see everything helplessly unfolding.  

A few things surfaced through the day following, today.  Being somewhat local to the area, I believe we were all jaw-dropped.  The news reports today stated it was a couple dozen youth that truly instigated the riots.  People within the riots questioned why it took so long for the police to respond.  The rest of us went on and on, reeling in what to make of all of this, disgusted at "those people".  What else can we do?

As a society, nobody knows what to do- whether it be during the riots, or following.  Do we separate ourselves from "those people" who did it?  Express our disgust for what happened?  Is that enough?  How does that help?  What does that bring us?  As a society, a community, it doesn't do very much.

My feelings on the issue are that it goes well beyond a couple dozen people.  What happened last night started by the hands of a small group, but it grew because of hundreds who participated, facilitated and stood by and watched.  There were hundreds who went and knew it was going to happen and thought it was cool to be a part of it.  The videos and pictures say it all.  That is what I have huge issue with.  This tells me there is something very wrong with our society.  If a fire starts from a spark, it can not survive, nor grow without fuel present, in this case, the bystander who eggs them on, or even gives interest in such horrible actions. 

Three months and four days ago, an earthquake with a magnitude of 9.0 rocked a nation.  A tsunami followed wiping out tens of thousands of people.  Then a nuclear emergency (since upgraded to the worst nuclear accident on record) cleared out entire communities.  No looting.  No rioting.

We lost the Stanley Cup.

Within our world, really messed up things happen.  I believe they happen to ground us as a race.  To restore balance whether it is to hold a light for individuals to strive towards, or for us bear witness to unjust things to learn from.  Whether it be from country to country, region to region, family to family, or anything in between.  Either way, we are meant to learn and move forward.

We are a society.  We can no less point our fingers and turn our backs on "a few dozen" that instigated, and more importantly the hundreds that cheered them on and stood by, that facilitated millions of dollars of damage, any easier than we can just disown the wacky family member that is a little off.  We all have a part in this and turning our backs is not the answer.

We all know, win or lose, the riots would have happened - it had little to do with the game itself.  People wouldn't have folded up their balaclavas and tucked away their gas cans had the Canucks won.  Let's also assume that within those crowds, people knew something was brewing.  I will dare to say that beyond the handful who instigated, it was the hundreds and thousands who stood around that collectively had the power to turn the tides, but instead facilitated it.

Perhaps it is time for Vancouver to lead, and surpass the victimization of what happened yesterday to creating a society that will never stand for that again.  Perhaps our leaders (whether sports-figures, or politicians) will voice their own positive peer pressure for having pride and respect for our own communities BEFORE the events.  Perhaps police will instill protocols for people to leave the riot zones, and if you can not, to move to the sides of the roads and just get down if riots break out.  If those 'dozen' twats that claim to be men (and women) choose to stand and deliver such actions, let them be seen.  Crowds should be aware that it is their duty to clear the way, to leave the areas to assist police and emergency workers to do their job.  It is also the job of police to ensure those people who are not participating have a way out.  Seems pretty logical. 


For the rest of us, it is our job to up the pressure in our society.  To make it known and teach younger generations, not just that this is horrible, but rather to take pride in themselves, to excel for better, to be proud of where they are from, to help fight for what is right in our communities.  As we have seen yesterday, the younger generation has a voice and it is our job to make a shift.  What happened yesterday was not because of a few dozen people.  Had their been clarity in what we as a society would tolerate and more importantly not tolerate, it could not have escalated to that level.

The media reports what has happened.  It is up to individuals to make what will happen next.  Talk with your children, your friends and any youth around you about what happened.  Ask them what they think.  Teach them pride in themselves and where they are from.  Help clean up, not just the downtown area, but your own neighbourhood.  Donate to Canuck Place!  Show your own sportsmanship for a good cause and send a message.  Inject ANY positive energy back in to your community.  Hopefully our community leaders will get their shite together about how to handle 'the next time' in a little more proactive manner.  

Make a difference.  You have the power to, even if you think you don't!

Trauma & Growth

Athletes learn that in order to build strength physically, muscles must be worked in such a way that they are at their outer limit.  When this occurs, the muscle fibers weaken or tear.  It can be uncomfortable, painful, exhausting, but necessary for new growth/new muscle fiber to come in to play.  After the damage, there is a period of rest.  The muscle(s) have time to replenish and complete the process of growth (or training continues and potential to get really hurt increases, and/or poor patterns are built around the discomfort, thereby locking the damage in to place).

"There's a general law in life: The body and mind only get stronger when they're traumatized."

John Leivers, Andes explorer and Machu Pichu guide

GQ Magazine, June 2011

Ahhh, the bigger picture.  I believe that our mind, heart and spirit operate in a similar manner.  Further to that,  I also believe that there is a balance that sometimes instigates those challenging events as well.  Among living things, when something is off balance, or drawing unbalanced energy, Life will compensate to seek a balance.  When this occurs, it translates in to events that shake us from the direction we are moving.  We then must move off the road of our lives and choose a new route. "Where the hell am I going now?!" 


We can be so bound to a certain course, that it requires something traumatic to move us from that course we were plotting, or to realize our own strength and worth, to even just find our voice so that we will change the life in front of us.  What if challenging events happen as we move further and further from the essence of who we are, and this process of trauma is the natural order calling us back to that centre, or weighting the scales to restore that balance again?   What if uncomfortable things are meant to further us (either by validating our choices, or by raising our eyes to see the need for a new path from the individual, and within society as well)?

I do not believe that we "only get stronger when... traumatized".  Growth occurs in the mild moments, when we fall in love, when we live with love, when we experience fantastic adventures and wonderful new things as well.  This is when growth occurs that is in alignment with our dreams or the pursuit of things we would like to happen.  That is growth at it's most pleasurable - the highs of life.  Trauma is usually accelerated growth that happens against what we had hoped for, expected, or otherwise thought best for us, and I do believe that it brings more profound growth spurts when we take the time to heal well.  

It was my friend Miss R, who recommended "Flourish", but it was flipping through it in the bookstore and seeing Chapter 8 "Turning Trauma into Growth" that hooked me in to purchasing the book and making it through the first chapter.  "A substantial number of people also show intense depression and anxiety after extreme adversity, often to the level of PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder], but then they grow.  In the long run, they arrive at a higher level of psychological functioning than before".  I think about all that continues to go on in Japan following the tsunami and nuclear accident, the hundreds of thousands affected, and reflect on the stories that continue to surface about the resilience of the victims there and find some hope that perhaps it is changing, and has changed the world as well as those individuals, for somehow, the better. I am looking forward to reading Chapter 8.  In fact, I do believe I will skip ahead and read that tonight.

Friction, trauma, lack of balance, frustrations, anger, sadness, helplessness...  Are they symptoms of the need for new growth or change?

Most of the time, we are so taken off-guard, even blind-sided, by the harder things in life, that we automatically inject whatever necessary to restore equilibrium as we know it - to carry on in life and to maintain the normalcy that our own lives survive by.  The greater the collision, however, the less we are able to decipher what still remains to be our 'normal'.  We must also mourn the loss of the way things were before we can move forward to install the factors that will foster growth.

In the last ten years or so, The Secret and Power of Intention have surfaced in the mainstream (though they theory has been around for ages before).   We have allowed ourselves to realize that we have a greater power than just Action A + Action B = Action C.  We have begun to open our minds to Intention = Action.  Is it considerable that within our own relationship between ourselves and Life, that when we become unbalanced, unheard, ineffective, away from our centre (including our strengths and gifts), that call for interjection unfolds from us and Life responds without us even having to 'put it out there'?  

Have you noticed patterns in your life that repeat themselves?  Something that repeatedly occurs that just sucks the life out of you, that is annoying that just keeps on coming back?  Then one day, you approach it differently and you learn something that just clicks finally.  The pattern ceases to appear.  Perhaps we are closer to our own balance with the new understanding, the lesson has been learned and there is no need for that interjection of energy to occur again.  We move forward with an effective new tool.

There are horrific things in our world that make no sense, have no reason, nor should they ever happen.  Perhaps we as a society face trauma within individuals as a means to tell the the rest of us a change is needed, to draw us together.  Perhaps if we invest the energy to learn from it, to help one another through them, we can at least protect from these things happening again, or become more resilient for the future generations. 

When I look back at those moments when life has been hard, when things hurts like hell and made me just want to close up shop for a while... there was always the question, "what if something extraordinary is coming from all this?..."  ...right after I said, "F&@* it!!", and had a period of recuperation... growth has followed.  Whether it has been a change in my direction in life, seeing new priorities, an increase in compassion for others, a deeper appreciation for life and loved ones, the ability to know that I can be there to help, or even be an ear to help others who go through similar things, I have become stronger than I was.

It is important to have the quiet moments to 'heal', and also, retrospectively look to the strengths it has taken to overcome a situation, and see the benefits/lessons etc. gained from it all.  We must mindfully carry forward the growth, rather than the losses; which coincidentally then, also offers "forgiveness" for others, and more importantly, ourselves.  If life is a compilation of experiences, then what and how we choose to remember things can make an enormous difference in the rest of our days and what we do with the rest of the energy we have left.  Will we hold on to being a victim, being afraid, bitter, defensive through life, or will we acknowledge our own strengths that it took to overcome experiences and apply them forward to affect positive change/growth in the moments we are creating?  This is a choice.

My life has had ups and downs.   I am learning a lot from life.  I am not one to delve in to a stack of books to study from (which is why I suppose I repeatedly speak about the books I do complete because they really did make an impact on me - I will list those in the Favourite Products post tomorrow).  Life has been my most faithful teacher, bringing me the lessons I have needed to learn at critical times.  There is an appreciation I have for the blows that have helped shape me (gotta love retrospect).  There is a peace to living within such a manner of Life... as well as a drive to learn lessons when the message is just a whisper before it gets to be a shriek - lol... 

When moments occur when you feel tattered and beaten, your life feeling turned upside down, perhaps something extraordinary is just around the corner.  Hang in there, ok?

May your positive growth always exceed your hardships...